i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
