Screwed.edu
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
