Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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