Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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