I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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