It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
