also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
