im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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