Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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