remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
