You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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