my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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