if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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