I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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