I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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