This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize