I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize