but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
