I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
