wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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