Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
