You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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