I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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