explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
