I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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