I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
