I hope mine doesn't look like that
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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