i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
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this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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