Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
