I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
