I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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