This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
