It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
