Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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