If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Randomize
