He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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