they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
