my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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