her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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