sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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