he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
