to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
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