then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
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you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
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I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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