We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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