Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
