we have pet lesbian snakes
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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