I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
