Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
