I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
