is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize