I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize