benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
