please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She told me I should be a condom model.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
