Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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