dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
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