What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My liver just broke up with me...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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