Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
