can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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