its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Semen is not good for contacts.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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