You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
