ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
