he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
