Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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